Of Gods and Gamemasters

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Evolution of Evil ( a monologue)

You, YOU, are a goddess. And I? I am a monster. Not even a great and terrible foe worthy of your respect, but a writhing worm to be trod, all unknowing, under your feet.

Each time I see you, I long to speak, to tell you how I feel. But my tongue is swollen with sorrow, my throat clogged with regret, and I know the words will trip and stumble from out my mouth like drunken workmen as they leave the pub, and so I say nothing, and watch you walk away again.

I cannot be a hero, brave and true. I cannot look like him, the golden hair, the azure eyes, the smooth tanned skin. My gray flesh will never know your gentle touch.

I have saved you, once or twice. Turned my fellows from their paths, stopped the arrow or blade that would mar your perfect countenance. Early on, when you were still vulnerable to such trifles. I have loved you since first we met, under that abandoned church where my first master laired.

But you have grown mighty, and ever more beautiful, and I am, as I was. Small. Clever, perhaps, but ugly, and without power.

And every time we meet, it is worse. You never see me. And each time is heavier, with the weight of the last time atop all the others, an ever increasing burden like stones upon my shoulders, a pyramid, built in reverse from tip to base atop my back until it cracks from the strain, and I cannot even look at you.

I cannot be something you would love. BUT. I can gain power. I can grow in stature. I can become something you fear, with all the power of the Hells behind me. I can make you look at me. And all it will cost me is the soul I would have given you willingly for nothing more than to see you smile. I have no use for it anyway.

If I cannot have your love, I will have your fear. Your hate. For I do not want your pity, and that is the most I could hope for. I forsake hope, as it has forsaken me, and give myself to power, and the weight upon my back eases. My tongue moves freely in my mouth. Words come to my beck and call once more.

In giving up, I understand. I remove my shackles, and become free.

Wanna hear it performed? https://youtu.be/-ROcVYghAjQ