The Third Space
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One construction of life posits that we exist in three spaces: The home and family The society, work, etc. And the third, sometimes liminal space, where we can shed our masks or wear different ones from daily life.
The first space is one of comfort, of rest. But it is still one with intense demands and definite expectations of us. Rarely do we actually let our guard down here. This is where we relax...but not where we cut loose. Cooking, cleaning, child care, physical and emotional labor…these all require another set of masks. Our home life has its own unavoidable obligations.
The second space is our most masked. Here we earn our living, shop, travel, do what is expected of us, engage with our community, both online and in the physical. We spend more of our lives here than anywhere else. And it is exhausting. We are almost never our genuine selves here. We are sublimated into the whole. We do what is expected of us, we are who is expected we must be.
The Third Space is critical to sanity, to life itself. The Third Space, for many people, is the religious or spiritual space, the space where we go to find meaning. The Third Space, the spiritual space, is where we can take off the masks required by society, by family, by work. And while we often wear masks here as well, these are masks that free us from the everyday, from our hum drum lives. They are masks we choose, and that choice is critical.
For many people, these days, the religious space specifically holds little comfort. We have been driven from it, or it has become just another part of the second space, the expectations of society. Another place where we are constrained. Where we cannot express ourselves. Where, perversely, no religious experience can be found. So we look elsewhere. Some find comfort in quiet personal spirituality. In meditation. But humans are social beings. Even when we search for the sublime, we do so in groups. I believe this is one of the reasons roleplaying games are popular.
In an RPG, whether tabletop or LARP, we put on masks as shamans did. We channel archetypes and stories and harness their power. Done right, an RPG is a very potent liminal space. We can find a lot of truth, in the freedom granted us by a safe fiction that cannot really harm us. We can search for truths about ourselves, about others, in the comfortable space of a fantastic world, far enough from our own to leave our daily stresses behind.
There are a few studies out there now, showing how useful roleplaying is in therapy. I have seen it myself. In LARPS and TTRPGs I've run, I've seen socially awkward people develop real social skills. I've seen people who never understood the emotions of others learn real empathy. I've seen wallflowers become confident public speakers, followers become leaders... Because of that safe third space to try new things. Roleplaying games are just that...games...but humanity learns through play, and imagination is what fuels every third space.
Don't underestimate what we do here. Yes, it's just games, for fun. But it's also telling stories, humanity's oldest communal entertainment, the source of so much of what we are. It's so much deeper than just watching a movie, or reading a book. We are in these stories.
We *are* these stories. And the masks we put on, the characters we play...they help us find out who we really are. And if all that is hogwash? We still need to be entertained, and escape the horror of real life, if only to recharge. Get out there and play. Change your world.
